plz talk dirty to me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
