ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
