hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
