Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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