just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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