You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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