Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
