am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
