Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize