He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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