Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
