Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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