I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
