just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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