worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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