do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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