I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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