____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
