How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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