Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
