yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
