Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
