I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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