This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
