hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
