Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
