im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
