How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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