He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
