so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize