Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
3 2 1 whiskey
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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