i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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