We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
