Sry I called you an 8
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
