I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
