My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
