Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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