Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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