I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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