This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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