found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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