Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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