And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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