you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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