spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
