Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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