I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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