Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
