Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
