Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
