i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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