and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
