I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
