ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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