she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Rumble strips road head = magical
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
