I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
