You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize