Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
