who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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