I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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