I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
