Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
