Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
