i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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