I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
