we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
