I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
